Artist’s Impression. Not to Scale.

April 1st, 2016

Singapore toy maker, Machination Studio, has been appointed to build a life-sized version of their Codename: Colossus toy, complete with working armaments as part of a new defense paradigm of the SAF (Singapore Armed Forces).

“In light of the recent security crisis gripping the world, the SAF (Singapore Armed Forces) is having the foresight to proactively preempt any security threats to our shores with a mobile fortress right in the heart of the business district. This allows for a rapid deployment of lethal force should the need arise. It is part of our back-to-basics new defense paradigm. Which is new, but traditional, and advanced but basic, not exactly a policy shift, but a different way of looking at defense in the new normal of our ever-changing world. The public need not worry, nothing has changed. This time, it will be different.” Rear-Admireral Roland Gin Tua Kee said at the press conference this morning.

As this is a PPP (Public Private Partnership), the funding of the project will be shared equally between Singaporean individuals, the people and the public. URA (Urban Redevelopment Authority) has released a statement stating that it is working with Machination Studio to explore using some of the spare space in the Colossus to convert to parking spaces or commercial offices, a wise move since the Colossus would be situated right in the CBD (Central Business District). STB (Singapore Tourism Board) is already a partner in this project and will be building an war and suffering themed amusement park around the Colossus. WDA (Singapore Workforce Development Agency) lauds the project for bringing many high tech jobs that the greying population of Singapore can retrain for, like hammering, welding and gunpowder making.

The PMO (Prime Minister’s Office) has already released a statement denying the validity of all of these rumours. As they would.